As part of the 3rd Annual Cinefessions Summer Screams Challenge, I've spent the past two days watching all of the films in the Hellraiser franchise. I've been obsessed with this series since seeing the trailers for Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth when I was seven years old and have only grown to love the universe and Clive Barker's expanded works since. However, because I so disliked Hellraiser III, I never really paid attention to the six subsequent sequels released straight to video. I've seen bits and pieces of most of them, but not the whole way through while actually paying attention.
This time, I paid attention. Oh, goodness, how I paid attention.
The first three films follow a small group of subjects as they fight against the Cenobites who emerge from the Lament Configurations/puzzle boxes the victims solved. The fourth film stands out for being an anthology feature about the creation of the puzzle box and the cursed family of toy makers who unleashed Hell on earth. Entries five through seven are horror/thrillers about individuals getting pulled into the insanity of the puzzle box without even knowing what it is. Eight is a cautionary tale about how evil the internet and video games are and nine is a quasi-found footage film only made to keep the rights to the series in the Dimension Pictures' wheelhouse.
Here they all are, ranked worst to best, so you can learn from my foolish quest to earn 23 points from nine films in an online sci-fi/horror challenge.
9: Hellraiser: Revelations (2011)
I basically said everything you need to know about Revelations in the intro. Dimension Films rushed this sucker into production so they wouldn't lose the film rights to the Hellraiser series. It is, honestly, one of the worst horror films I've ever seen. The only good thing I can say about Revelations is that its existence guarantees the Clive Barker-helmed, Doug Bradley-starring remake of Hellraiser. And believe me, after seeing someone else take on Pinhead in Revelations, you really don't want to see anyone else as the iconic Cenobite. Barker is very candid about how the budget limitations of the original film hampered his vision and Dimension is actually going to give him real money to play with. So the worst entry in the series might lead to the greatest Hellraiser film in existence. Just...don't waste your time watching this one.
8: Hellraiser: Hellseeker (VI) (2002)
This entry in the Hellraiser series just doesn't make sense. It's a Memento-esque look into the life of an amnesiac who married the original survivor girl from the series. His wife has gone missing after a car wreck and he's the number one suspect in her disappearance. He's also living quite the double life that he just can't remember. He's having affairs with every woman he sees and scheming with his coworking for a bunch of illegal stuff. The one thing going for this entry is a pair of excellent Cenobite designs that look and feel like the original creations of Clive Barker. The rest is boring and confusing, withholding necessary information just to try and layer on a big twist ending you won't care about.
7: Hellraiser: Hellworld (VIII) (2005)
The first thing to know about Hellworld is that it really isn't a Hellraiser film. It's a pastiche of certain horror trends that never really come together. A group of young adults lost their friend due to his obsession with a Hellraiser-themed MMORPG game. Two years later, they all earn invitations to an official party inspired by the game. Hellworld is the series' New Nightmare or Scream 3, a meta-horror commenting on the tropes of the series. However, there is one detail that makes it quite clear it's not really a Hellraiser film. How did the surviving friends open a portal to Hell and bring on Pinhead without ever solving the puzzle box? It's a glaring mistake that really takes you out of the film again and again.
Click through for 6th through 4th.
6: Hellraiser: Deader (VII) (2005)
Deader's one advantage is an interesting story concept. A reporter is sent on assignment to investigate a cult known as Deaders. They believe that their leader can kill them and bring them back to life. You see where this is going. The art direction is some of the best in the series, but the pacing, story structure, and character development are all over the place. It's too slow, not particularly scary, and boring. The lead actress is electric onscreen but she has nothing to work with in that screenplay.
5: Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)
Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth is the moment when the series stopped being about the victims and started being about Pinhead. It doesn't quite work. The concept of the story isn't bad. A reporter (here we go again) winds up sucked into the world of Cenobites and puzzle boxes while investigating a sleazy night club owner. However, everything is taken to an extreme that kind of betrays the intimate, sexualized experience of the first two entries. Now, anyone who is killed by a Cenobite becomes a Cenobite, even tragic figures like a homeless victim of sexual assault. It doesn't sit right.
4: Hellraiser: Bloodline (IV) (1996)
Bloodline is the most experimental entry in the Hellraiser series and the risks pay off big time. Instead of focusing on the fools who want to open the gates to Hell through the puzzle box, Bloodline focuses on the family that created the original Lament Configuration. Centuries ago, master toymaker Lemarchand was commissioned to make the puzzle box for a pair of occult obsessives. Since then, his family has been cursed with their ties to Pinhead. The story is told through three short films--two self-contained and one as a framing device--spanning from the 18th Century to the 22nd Century. It is the alpha and the omega of the Hellraiser universe, showing the entire rise and fall of Pinhead and the Cenobites through the reluctant eyes of the men who accidentally crafted the portal to Hell.
Click through for 3rd through 1st.
3: Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)
Hellbound is the only other entry in the series where Clive Barker had creative input on the story; it shows. The one new cenobite deserves to rise up the ranks of the underworld (unlike the wrong place, wrong time Cenobites in most of the sequels) and Pinhead gets some much-needed character development. The original survivor girl returns with a new young accomplice who can solve any puzzle, no matter how large. The psychiatric hospital setting never feels manipulative or othering even as the two young leads are abused by the head doctor.
2: Hellraiser: Inferno (V) (2000)
Inferno is the sequel that feels the most like Barker's vision of the Hellraiser universe. It's a deeply erotic and psychological look into obsession and corruption in the heart of a bored police detective. Much like the original film, Bloodline trades on Cronenberg-like body horror as taboo eroticism. The ending is a little underwhelming and predictable, but the suspense is strong and the Cenobites don't talk too much like other sequels.
1: Hellraiser (1987)
Unsurprisingly, the only entry actually written and directed by Clive Barker is the best entry in the series. The source novella, The Hellbound Heart is still my all-time favorite work from Barker. It's a deeply psychological story about obsession, desire, and fear of Hell. The cinematography and special effects are strong and the editing, specifically the overlaying of suggestive imagery, is some of the best in all of horror. It's a must-see feature.
So there you have it. The Hellraiser series ranked from worst to best. I'd say the top four are worth a viewing for any horror fan. Five and six will hold enough interest for Hellraiser fans. Seven through nine are only for the masochistic completists like myself. You've been warned.
